More S'mores

Remember the super duper big Hershey bar? Well, I'm proud to announce I'm at the "R". That's a pretty big deal. Tonight, my little endeavor kind of failed on me, but was still delicious. I had a few egg roll wrappers left and figured since I finally had a little free time I better put them to use. I also had about 1/3 of a bag of miniature marshmallows left. Do you smell what he skinny fat girl is cooking? Both of my previous s'mores related posts were ice creamy. This is of the deep fried variety. 

Putting it together. 

How funny is that??? I totally forgot that marshmallows expand when hot.

Totally started oozing out. Unfortunately, this created a very airy egg roll. But fortunately, they tasted like awesome. 

Still being lazy.

So this weekend I went to the Frederick County Fair. A bit of a drive, but totally worth it. Where else will they charge you an extra 50 cents for lettuce and tomato but give you all the extra cheese you want for free? Plus, they deep fry things I never thought of. For example:

That's right you guys, deep fried FRUIT.

On the the top you have the deep fried strawberries, on the bottom, what you see is a deep fried pickle. Let's start with the strawberries. To be honest, I was disappointed. There was still gooey batter in the middle which when I first bit into it I thought was some sort of cream and got prematurely excited, but when I realized it was just the batter I got sad. So much potential. Now the pickle. That was awesome.

The candy apples were very impressive. But most impressive and deliciously awesome of them all, was the giant mozzarella stick. I walked by it at first thinking, hmmmm, that looks like a fancy corn dog. Then I asked what was the deal with the corn dog and the girl told me it was a cheese stick. It was seriously bigger than a corn dog. Check it out.

Pardon my blurry cell phone pics, I hadn't originally planned on going to the fair but I got a flat tire and my awesome sister in law picked me up and I tagged along. 

Cheesy! 

(Side note, I made the brownies again for an event at work, along with oatmeal cookies, and my yummies got finished before the store bought yummies)

Brownies

So you know that five pound chocolate bar? Here it is compared to a normal sized Hershey bar. Massive, isn't it? Even storing it has been hard. It's been living in the microwave since we never use the microwave and it's one of the few places it will fit. Every so often I'll cut off a chunk and dip something in chocolate. 

I've been going through a cooking brain fart recently, but I think I've finally gotten back in the groove. I've got a few baking ideas in my head, however, the greasy bacon/sausage/cheesy/fried part of my brain is still slightly lost. I'm open to requests to work with! Back to the baking (I totally typo'd that originally as bacon), what does one make with an nearly endless supply of chocolate? Brownies! I love brownies. The gooey kind, not the cakey kind, but not heavy, I don't like to feel gross after eating one. Not to toot my own horn here, but I think I think I came up with the most perfect brownie recipe. What differs from most others is that I used melted chocolate and good amount of olive oil instead of regular. 

Awesome Brownies

- 1/2 stick plus a little bit more butter

- 1/2 cup olive oil

- 8 ounces chocolate 

- 4 eggs

- 1 cup sugar

- 1 cup brown sugar 

- 1 good glug of vanilla

- 1 flour 

Melt the chocolate with the butter and olive oil using the double boiler method, stir a bit to make it all smooth and pretty. 

Beat the eggs, sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla together with a fork until uniform. 

When the chocolate is cooled off enough to not cook the eggs, mix the chocolate into the eggs and mix in the flour. Box mixes always say to make sure not to over-mix the batter, so I used that advice and you probably should too. Don't over-mix the batter. 

How cool does that look?

I then baked it at 350 in a lined and greased 9 by 13 pan. I tend to like my brownies slightly undercooked. So depending on how you like them, the baking time could vary from 50 minutes (which is what I did) to an hour (I would assume). As long as a toothpick comes out clean when you poke it, I think you're in the clear. Allow to cool a little bit before cutting. 

My dad wanted a piece before I got a picture. 

I also took some with me went I went to see my brother and his boys yesterday, my nephew ate two and asked for more, and then my brother called me this morning and called them a 10. Made my day. 

Now, if the Redskins win their next game. I will be an all around happy monkey. 

Breakfast Egg Roll

What is it with guys and breakfast burritos? Such a man food. I fend them to be too sloppy for my liking. The wrap usually gets soggy or is too limp. But since it's the outer portion I have an issue with and we all know I love breakfast food (even though I eat it at lunch or dinner), there has to be a way around this, right? Oh yes, there is. 

There you have all the fixings of a yummy breakfast, minus the french toast. But don't worry, I have a carb in mind. 

Look! My square buddy! Oh yes, another stuffed breakfast item. I think I have found my calling. 

(two were already being fried)

Happy Sunday everyone! I am BACK. Now excuse me while I go squeeze in a workout before the Redskins beat the Giants. Oooooh snap. 

Slacker

I know I've been slow. I made normal shrimp egg rolls and I'll post that soon, but I want to get back to my greasy fatty roots. Honestly, it's the 5 pound chocolate bar. It taunts me. Mocking me for not knowing how to put a severe enough dent in its perfect rectangular shape. I need suggestions! I've got a few general ideas to get me started, but this is FIVE pounds. I need a whole list of things to do with it!!! 

Persian Rice

(Before I start I just need to mention that the final picture of the rice isn't from this weekend, it's from a friends party because while I remembered to take pictures of the steps, I forgot to take a picture of the final product) 

When I turned 18, I got really sassy for a minute and told my dad that he couldn't tell me what to do anymore because I was now an adult. Without even looking up from what he was doing he told me "Persian girls don't become women until they learn how to make rice and make it well". 

*Sigh*

The main difference between the Persian style of making rice and pretty much all other non-middle eastern countries is that our method is kind of a hassle. Although, I have to admit, tastes a million times better. We start off by rinsing basmati rice several times. Basically what you do is put however many cups of rice you want to make in a big bowl and pour water in it and drain until the water goes from opaque to as clear as you can make it. The you dump it gently into a big pot full of water and add salt. You'll want about one inch of water above the rice, cook until it boils gently. 

You can't really go by times because it's all a matter of how much rice, how hot the water is, how much water, etc. That, and Persians are notorious for ambiguous answers. One time I asked how much salt to add and I was given the answer "yeh chosaki". Do you know what a "chosaki" is??? A little silent fart. Yes, ladies and gentleman, thousands of years of culture and we add a silent little fart's worth of salt. I don't what's funnier, that we do that or the fact that we have a separate word for silent farts as opposed to just calling them regular farts. 

Back to the rice. 

Good girl

Stir it VERY gently, occasionally. Once it rumbles a little bit and the rice tastes like it's almost cooked but still has a bit of a bite in the middle, it's time to drain it. 

Rice that's ready to be drained

Drained rice

One of the best things about Persian rice is the "tah-deegh" which literally translates to "bottom of the pot". There are various kinds of this, rice, bread, rice and yogurt, or potato. It serves as a buffer I guess, to keep the rice from sticking/burning to the pot. Before putting the rice back into the pot to steam, you pour a nice layer of oil in the pot. Then add what you want to use for the tahdeegh. I used potato. 

Tastes even better than a french fry 

Then you GENTLY scoop the rice over the potatoes into a dome shape and let it steam on low heat until it's cooked all the way through. 

Rice about to be covered and let to steam.

It's after this point I forgot to take pictures. My bad! But once the rice is cooked, what people generally do is take some ground saffron, dissolve it a small amount of water, then mix that with butter and add that to a small portion of rice to use on top of the final platter of rice. It makes it look very pretty and it tastes amazing. 

That's actually from Thanksgiving because we Persians serve rice and stew along with our turkey.

Ice Cream S'mores Cake

See my lovebug in the middle? She got married just over a month ago (infamous twice worn purple dress, sssshhh) and her wedding was absolutely gorgeous and an amazing time. Great food, good music, danced until 2 am, and met some wonderful new people. After dinner, when the dancing started up again before dessert, there were servers walking around with little ice cream cones that had to have been on freshly made cones because the smell took over the ballroom, and it was a huge ballroom. 

Ever since that night I've been wanting to make something ice cream related and this week I finally got my chance. Bikini season is on its way out so I feel a little less guilty about this one. I had made ice cream s'mores in the past, but it was time to one up that little endeavor with an ice cream cake. 

Ladies and gentleman what you are looking at (from bottom to top) is graham cracker cake, ice cream, brownie, more ice cream, another graham cracker cake, and toasted marshmallow fluff. That's quite a bit to take in, I know. It also took 2 days to complete. Let me break it down for you:

- On the first night I baked the graham cracker cakes. I'm sure there are real recipes out there for this, but this genius idea came to me at 11pm and I have to wake up at 7am, so modified Betty Crocker was called for. I used a normal box of yellow cake mix, only I scooped out one cup of the dry mix and added almost 2 cups of graham cracker crumbs for the flavor and a bit over a teaspoon of baking powder to lighten things up, everything else including the baking times I went according to the directions. I also baked the brownie layer this night. I used the same cake pan for all three of these parts to ensure equal size. 

- On the second day (I woke up extra early to put it together) I spread ice cream over one of the graham cracker cake layers and the brownie layer and put them back in the freezer. I spread marshmallow fluff over the other graham cracker cake and placed it under the broiler to make it toasty. I then layered them, filled in any gaps with ice cream, smoothed the edges, and put it back in the freezer until nighttime. 

It was perfect. 

Stuffed Banana

I'm still pretty bummed I can't buy one of these:

Gizmodo

Lord knows I love stuffing one food with another food. I'd go crazy if I had one of these things and it would be delicious. But I don't, so I improvise. 

Yup, that's one ripe banana. I left the skin on while I made the tunnel so it wouldn't mush everywhere while I piped Nutella into it. 

Of course I egg rolled it. 

I am officially back in the groove.

Seriously, without me, it'd just be aweso.